Orwell’s Animal Farm- Conspiracy Globbery Edition
By 2022, the reading and writing classes were becoming so easy since language had been surreptitiously reduced to less difficult words through political correctness that the animals were free to think openly as much as they could because really, nobody could think. Many large words were memorized even though the ability and comprehension of such words were becoming more troublesome. Big words yes, complete sentences no.
As for the commie pigs, they could still read and write perfectly and were able to guide the rest of the animals and help them think progressively. The lawyer dogs learned to read and memorize very well, as they wanted to make sure they followed the plan of the pigs because obviously they knew best. They knew how to keep their fellow animal inmates secure in the courtyard and focused on their task at hand. Muriel, the doctor goat, could read better than the dogs, and sometimes used to read to the others in the evenings from scraps of newspaper which she found on the rubbish heap. Benjamin could read as well as any pig, but he was too caught up in watching sports to really exercise his faculty. So far as he knew, he said, there was nothing worth reading when there was a good game on. Clover learnt the whole alphabet, but could not put together a complete sentence. Boxer could not get beyond the letter D. He would trace A,B,C,D, in the dust with his great hoof, and then would stand staring at the letters with his ears back, sometimes shaking his forelock, trying with all his might to remember what came next and never succeeding. On several occasions, indeed, he did learn E,F,G,H, but by the time he knew them, it was always discovered that he had forgotten A,B,C, and D. Finally he decided to be content with the first four letters, and used to write them out once or twice every day to refresh his memory. Mollie refused to learn any but the six letters which spelt her own name. She would form these very neatly out of pieces of twig, and would decorate them with a flower or two and walk around them admiring them.
None of the other animals on the farm could get further than the letter A. It was also found that the stupider animals, such as the sheep, hens, and ducks, were unable to learn the basics of complete knowledge, bullets curve, gravity exists because my second grade teacher said so, water amazingly is NEVER Flat, and extortion racket $52 million dollars a day free mason NASA wouldn’t lie would they? They believe these items without the ability to state a single fact about any of them, because facts are obviously irrelevant when you cannot comprehend them. After much thought, Snoball the pig declared that the basics knowledge could be reduced to a single maxim, namely: “Water is never Flat.” This, he said, contained the essential principle of Animalism. Whoever had thoroughly grasped it would be safe from human influences. The birds at first objected, since it seemed to them that 2nd grade teachers could not know everything and water sure seems flat, but Snoball proved to them that this was not so.